i'm just a simple girl living in this not so simple world. Nothing much to say about me except i love my life, every single day of it. `Life's like a rollercoaster :) *pictures derived from deviantart and sayingimages

today is my bday.. happy bday to me..

however, this is the day i hate the most.. i was looking forward to this day.. cuz i have confidence in you.. in us.. that you would come back for me.. that you would not leave me here.. that you would honor your promise of taking care of me.. but in the end.. you still threw me to one side..

i knew i would not be able to meet you since the 1st day you told me "i'll make time" i knew it would just be another lie but i still held on to it.. cuz i believed in you.. cuz i really believed that you love me..

when i saw your number appear on my phone just now.. i was so happy.. when you said " hi love, happy bday" i was very happy.. but i tried not to show cuz i knew following that would be excuses.. everytime.. you would give excuses not to meet me.. excuses for everything..

i dont know what else to say anymore.. im tired.. im hurt.. and im suffering.. everyday i tink about you before i go to slp, when i slp and when i wake up and everytime inbetween.. even when it rains i think of you.. thinking of how you gave me your sweater in the cold.. how you always made sure i had enough to wear when in bebbies.. pampering me.. and always wanting to know how i feel..

that day i was so upset with myself.. i almost cried in public.. a few drops of tears appeared and when my fren tried to cheer me up.. all i could think about was u.. about how u always tried to cheer me up when i was upset.. like that night in city oberland.. when you sang to me "sorry" or when everytime you say "so give me a time" or times when you say " silly girl you know i love you.." i wish to say i do to everything.. but i dont... i dont even noe how i can continue walking now..

im scared of ppl.. im scared of letting ppl know what i feel.. im scared of socializing.. im scared of being hurt.. i really dont know what else i should do.. there is so much inside of me that i wish i had answers to.. but i know.. even if natas fair is over. i would never know.. even if tml was the end of the world..

but there is smthing i know.. is that i should say bye bye...

i had enough.. crying on my bday is the worse thing that can happen to me.. i tried to smile and everything but ever since tt call.. my whole world went back to square 1.. back to top?