i'm just a simple girl living in this not so simple world. Nothing much to say about me except i love my life, every single day of it. `Life's like a rollercoaster :) *pictures derived from deviantart and sayingimages

STOP WASTING TIME ON PEOPLE WHO DONT LOVE YOU....

this is something i have been telling myself lately.. but somehow it doesnt seem to work.. everytime when there is free time my brain suddenly channels itself to think of you..

and its even worse when i start getting emotional in public.. thanks fy for being there for me just now.. i know i haven been nice today.. and im glad that you bothered to make me laugh and cheer me up during the train ride.. though i was trying my best not to bawl out on the mrt like a big baby.. haha

but when i was being cheered up.. i suddenly thought of you.. thought of city oberland.. thought of that night you made me unhappy.. that night which you asked me to listen to this particular song called sorry.. you told me that this is the thing that you wanted to tell me.. what? that you are sorry for making me angry or sorry for wasting my time? after that.. after making me smile.. you told me this.. " i promise to care for you forever, even as a brother, friend, boyfriend or husband."

i rmb you telling me that " you will never leave me.. as long as i love you" why? if you didnt love me why fo you still want to stay? do you feel that you have to take responsibility? if that's the case i rather you just go.. but wait.. didnt you go already?

this whole mth.. i heard nthing from you.. none what so ever.. apart from that night when you were drunk and talking nonsense.. i never heard anything else again.. From " please dont doubt my love" to no calls at all.. its really a big blow to handle..

and the thing about " you wanting to be a good man." for who? its not for me.. but for her.. you knew all along that in the end you would choose her.. cuz you are not an ungrateful man.. but you thread me along cuz you felt guilty.. but do you know how much you hurt both of us?

you told me you would arrange thurs.. but today is already monday.. and?? no news from you whatsoever.. im tired of waiting.. because i have no idea what im waiting for.. you tell me wait until this mth is over.. but if in the end.. you tell me.. "we're over" i cant handle it..

even now.. i cant handle it.. i have been supressing all my thoughts and feelings until i cant bottle it up anymore.. i tried not thinking about you.. i tried burying myself with work.. but ultimately in the end when i reach home.. you come into my mind.. and your words, " why do you doubt my love for you" it sounds soo real until i really wish to believe in it.. but i dont dare.. im scared...

the "bottomless pit" is really bottomless.. i really cant seem to stop falling deeper.. its getting scarier and darker and colder by the day.. and you are no where in sight.. like you promised.. u promised never to let me go.. but now.. i cant even find you.. i dont dare to call you.. for fear that i may disturb your work.. but when you dont reply my msges i get upset..

but in the end i know you moved on.. your pass is her name.. her fb is your special night.. how obvious can it get..

i know im no dimsel but still i wish for a knight to save me from this plight.. back to top?