i'm just a simple girl living in this not so simple world. Nothing much to say about me except i love my life, every single day of it. `Life's like a rollercoaster :) *pictures derived from deviantart and sayingimages

sometimes i just gotta learn how to let go.. everytime when i see the photos which dont belong to me i cant help but to think, what if that was me inside? every msg, ever phonecall just makes me want to linger longer to see what happens next.. waiting to see if its possible.. to see if in reality is fate in god's hands or ours?

I know there is a time when everyone has to learn to walk and grow up.. and i know the time for me to walk away from all of this is now. this is the perfect chance to just leave and never look back. but i cant help myself from stealing glances at my past. at the times we had.. maybe i can help myself but like everyone says, im blinded. i wish i could just really open my eyes and just realise that i was not blinded and that i can finally see what i am missing out in life.

i really wish i could.. i wish i could leave this instant.. find the man of my dreams and settle down in a small town with our kids, growing old together and loving each other till the end.. but i guess this plan has to be shelved for the moment until i can find that one guy whom im willing to settle down with.. but who knows, i might have a shot-gun marriage then realise he is not the one and end up in a divorce. i dont know.

had a small talk with my friend the other day and she told me something i really refuse to admit. she told me i have given up hope on love, on life and most importantly myself. i hate to admit that but i know its the truth.. i no longer think love is that merry and something that is happy.. i think life is just simply just torturing and i have certainly no idea what im here for.. i have given up everything... i know that's wrong and i got to pick myself back up. and i know i have damn gd frens who will be there to help me pick up the pieces.. but if i dont make an effort, no one including god can help me..

but i just dont understand why i am still clinging on to something hopeless which is killing me every single day.. i dont understand why i love him so much that i refuse to come to my senses.. yes i am selfish and i have to idea what has become of me.. i just know that i dont like this and i just want to get out.. i know im not any princess but still, shouldnt the knight appear now and save me from this? i know even if a knight appears right now i would not hope onto his horse.. cuz this is not the knight i wanted.. im blinded.. and i wish i could just take the blindfold out and realise what a fool i have been..

to all my frens, im really sorry that despite trying ur best to help me i neglected all of u.. i know im stubborn and no matter what all of u say i still choose to be blinded.. and im grateful that i have frens like u guys who didnt leave me when i was alone.. i love all of u... esp my darling yiwei who gave me most of ur time.. love u babe.. back to top?