i'm just a simple girl living in this not so simple world. Nothing much to say about me except i love my life, every single day of it. `Life's like a rollercoaster :) *pictures derived from deviantart and sayingimages

i know i have been working for just 1 week and its unfair to judge whether the job is suitable or not, but so far this week was crap for me.. what is it with teaching 3-4 mths old babies about texture and stuff.. its not like they will understand.. maybe i just dont understand babies.. honestly i rather take care of the aged cuz they will reply me when i talk to them.. i think it is easier or maybe i just prefer working in hospital environment.. i dont know..

feeling the temptation to quit my job actually.. yes part of it is due to the thailand trip.. i guess it has always been my weakness to travel.. so why arent i in the travel line? i have no idea.. maybe i just like to travel and not make it a routine? the irony in life.. but seriously this nursing job has made me supress the major emotions like grief and compassion.. i no longer have and know how to feel these emotions in my life anymore.. sometimes that just makes me feel like i am a living zombie.. when i see children get hurt due to things that they do i have no compassion in saying "are you ok?" i know im sounding like an asshole.. but i am serious.. i seriously prefer caring for those who needs it.. i know you may say, " but they are only kids, they also need protection and care." true but they have alot of people to care for them unlike those who yearns for love and concern and yet recieves none..

i guess ever since that incident during my prcp i changed alot.. i changed the way that i percieve life.. i no longer take it as seriously but just as it is.. ever since what happened i realised that life is really too short and you have absolutely no idea what the future have installed for you. so rather than living my life in the mopping manner that i use to, i rather just take everything that comes in my direction and learn from it.. cuz from what i know i might be gone tml.. and when i am will i make any difference? everyday someone is born and someone goes.. when will it be my turn i have no idea but all i know is since right now i have the chance to live.. i want to make a difference in someone's life.. do something that at least when i am gone i will be remembered.. not anything big like florence nightingale or ghandi but someone small.. as long as my intentions are known i am happy as i am..

sounds like alot of crap but i guess this was what i was feeling for sometime now and i finally can think straight and just be happy with what i have.. all those things that worries me in my love life.. yes they still come and go and get on my nerves at times but i believe that if its meant to be it will be.. so i guess all i have to do is have a little more faith.. cuz without it.. life is meaningless.. back to top?