i'm just a simple girl living in this not so simple world. Nothing much to say about me except i love my life, every single day of it. `Life's like a rollercoaster :) *pictures derived from deviantart and sayingimages

at the hotel alone.. its 10am here.. lying here on the bed and a train of thoughts are running through my mind again..

talked to a friend today online, told me alot of stuff.. stuff that i have been hearing since the 1st day.. im still listening but its just i dont want to be affected by it.. its hard.. and i know i should not complain or anything.. but its hard with just words.. tired of words.. tired of empty promises in the past.. i dont want to hang on to any of these again.. hoping for things to happen when clearly it wont.. those feeling just sucks

yea i know what type of guy he is.. what type of situation i am in.. how stupid and ridiculously guillible and navie i am to believe everything he tells me.. but today, 4/4/10 only happens once.. today only come once.. and all i know is that i want everyday to have memories.. something that i can rmb as time pass.. though i do not have a superb memory and tend to forget things easily.. but memories are the only thing in life that one can hold on to.. memories wont betray you.. they wont leave you.. they will always be there for you, whether good or bad..

for those who didnt know.. i decided to extend my trip in europe.. part of the reason is cuz of him.. cuz i want to spend more time with him.. cuz i wanna wake up every morning and he is the 1st face i see.. cuz i wanna go to slp every night knowing that i am safe in his arms.. cuz i wanna be part of his world.. part of who he is.. i know i cant do much for him.. i know im not mentally matured enough for him.. but all i know is i just wanna be with him.. for now that is.. i dont know what will happen tml.. i dont know what will happen when we go back singapore.. i donno how i will feel when he travels again.. i dont know will i feel what i feel when he was in china.. i dont know if i will be stoning there waiting for him every single day.. but one thing i know is no matter how stupid this all sounds.. im not regretting a single bit..

maybe when dating an older guy.. they tend to treat you like a little gal.. sometimes its nice.. when they care for you in a way different from dating someone near your age.. things that arent romantic to him means something to me.. like sitting at the cafe out in the cold, looking at the eiffle tower.. the creme brulee after every meals.. the cutting of food for me.. the making sure i had enough of food and treating me like a coat hanger.. these may mean nothing to him.. but it sure means alot to me.. times we spend talking about stupid things and all the things that happen in each other's lives.. thats my favourite.. cuz im feeling im slowly walking into his life.. walking to be part of him..

though i dont know in the end will things be like what he says.. will we have a future.. will we be anything to each other.. i dont know.. maybe im running away from reality.. maybe this is a dream that i dont want it to end.. at least not yet.. i dont wanna wake up.. back to top?