i'm just a simple girl living in this not so simple world. Nothing much to say about me except i love my life, every single day of it. `Life's like a rollercoaster :) *pictures derived from deviantart and sayingimages

I remember the day that this happened, just like it was yesterday. Ken and me were at mt faber when it happened. We got out of the car to talk, because I really needed some fresh air. He came to me and aske me what can he do to take the pain away from me. There was clearly nothing that he could have done. If he could, i knew he would. He pulled me closer and whispered again what he could do. I pulled away but he did not let go. He hugged me so tight as if protecting me from the world. At that instant when he begged me to tell him what he could do, I just broke down. There was no solution that we could have used. Nothing that would salvage the situation. Sometimes I wonder, if i did not let go, if i did not give up and if i just stayed with him until the day of my passing. Would things have been different? Would he leave with me. Would he take me somewhere where we can start afresh?

No.. He couldnt. He could not leave her and be with me. That is just not possible. After that night, he became hot and cold. He would call me out as and when he wanted to see me. And I did meet him (I'm so stupid) just because I really loved him and just didnt care about anything at all.

But the day when he left, my whole world died. It's not even like it crashed or blew up, it just died. My feelings were all dead. I could not feel anything. After that I just felt hurt. Why? I just didnt understand why or how he can do this to me? Didnt he love me? I know he did. The effort that he made, the way he looks at me, the way the give in to my silly request in France. I would remember those days. The pillow fights, the holding my hands tightly when the fishes attacked us while snorkling. Haha.

I thought now, things would be better, that things would change for once. But no, the time has not come yet.

Recently I met this guy, I really do want to spend my life with him but I just dont think he likes me enough. To put it straight, he was less confusing then Ken. Maybe they are the same, maybe they are not. But it wont matter anymore. James would not be a part of my life anymore after August. So in the meantime, I shall just make memories.

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