Cold Nostalgia

Friday, June 11, 2010 @ 10:23 PM

there is a sudden urge in me to shout, " I MISS YOU! " but after shouting that?nothing changes. The world stills rotate, people are still on the move, I am still breathing and you are still gone.

when I see my friends being so happy in their relationship i get so envy. they get to go out with their partners, spend time with time, learning about each other and loving each other everyday. I want this type of love. I want a love where we will grow old together, where we learn something new about each other everyday. I want a love where I know I am being loved, where I know I am important, where I know I am being missed. I miss that kind of love. I miss the type of love where you would do silly things together and try out new things for the sake of your partner.

I want to let down my hair and have fun and love like I never loved before. But this is not the right time nor person. And all I can do is wait. Either wait for things to take a turn and change or wait for the impossible or leave and wait for the right one to appear.

I know what my choice is but its a choice that I dont want to admit. Its a choice where I dont want to believe in. A choice where I dont want to have any part of. I chose to let go, but I know you would still think I am being emo that I am being childish. But how long will this last? How long am I suppose to wait until the sun starts shinning on me again?