i'm just a simple girl living in this not so simple world. Nothing much to say about me except i love my life, every single day of it. `Life's like a rollercoaster :) *pictures derived from deviantart and sayingimages

today was on the train when i saw a group of gals, only did it occur to me how much i have aged. i realised alot of things lately, and one of it being that i cannot stay in my own fantasy world. everyone wishes to be in their own fantasy hoping that they will never have to grow up and have things the way they want it to be, however that is highly impossible. back to the group of gals, i realise that no matter how young i tried to be its not possible, cuz im growing. im growing out of my shell, the needs that i needed and wanted once are no longer the needs that i need anymore. i always felt i needed someone fun like him, but its hard when the fun that you need is way beyond your reach. its like you always thought that the one you wanted was right there with you but suddenly you realise that they arent. that feeling sucks.

all i thought i wanted was someone fun to be with, someone who i can joke around with and be silly with. yea i need that. but after today, after seeing that group of girls, it suddenly made me realise that i aint one of them. meaning that i have grown up, i need someone to be there for me, supporting me. not just someone who i can be fun with. alot of stuff have occurred to me recently which made me think alot. ( some of you might know it ). sometimes i really wonder why love cannot be as easy as 123. why cant love be something so easy to understand. i feel that if a love is easier to understand the easier it is to treasure it. and it really hard sometimes when people have preconcieved ideas of who you are.

i mean seriously. is it wrong to be in love? is it wrong to fall in love with someone so easily and get into a relationship so easily? and when i manage to leave, does that imply that i dont like him enough or that he meant nothing to me? sometimes it really hurts when people say such ignorant stuff. i mean literally how can you be with someone you have no feelings for and dont you think it take a hell lot of courage for you to leave a relationship that you thought could last. seriously people, i dont get why in the puny brain of yours, you feel that by having sooo many relationship means that you are a big damn flirt. just think about it, there is no right or wrong in love, and the number of relationship you have does not make who you are and no one in the right mind have the right to condemn or even make the slightest remark on who you are base on the no. of relationships you had. cuz that is just plain ridiculous.

lastly the thing that happened to me made me realise that i have had that experience before, when i had to choose what i wanted. in the end i made a wrong choice that until now i regret. i hate that feeling and i do wanna apologise to you that i made you suffer emotionally for that period of time. only do i understand now how it feels. its really horrible to feel that its yours but not yours. back to top?