Cold Nostalgia

i'm just a simple girl living in this not so simple world. Nothing much to say about me except i love my life, every single day of it. `Life's like a rollercoaster :) *pictures derived from deviantart and sayingimages

Sunday, January 6, 2008 @ 7:27 PM

excuses

as u all can see from the title.. i am actually having trouble understanding that word 'excuses'.. yes its a type of phrase when u use when u are trying to deny something.. but to what extend can it be considered an excuse? blame and excuse are actually interlinked in my opinion.. usually when there is an excuse, blame will come in and take over.. i bet all of u have experience this before. what happened today is that my bro he lost some stuff. i felt both angry and disappointed in my bro.

angry because i felt he has no right to throw his temper around just because those are impt stuff.. if it is that impt than u shd have taken care of it. but did u. think abt it urself.. its like.. honestly speaking what have u done for this family that u can lift ur head proudly and say,'i did that.' i dont think anything. if u want to say about the moving house thing. how much have u actually done? how much have u move. u ownself tink abt how old ur dad is.. how much strenght does he have. i dont want to mention about me being a gal and how much strenght i have. because that wun matter to u.. u only know how to make fun about me about my strenght but have u ever thought about where that came from? it came from u being a failure as a man.. u say that ur gf is the one u love and want to protect. but think about it.. how can u protect her and ur future family when u cant even protect ur own family. the one that brought u up, gave u food n clothes n shelter, the ones that gave in to u when u throw a tantrum.. can u still proudly say that u have that ability to protect the one u love? i don tink so. i know i sound very harsh.. but u are my bro.. no matter how much i quarrel with u, no matter how much i say u are useless... i hope and wish that one day u can come right infront of my face n tell me, "i am not useless. i have changed."

i am disappointed in him because whenever i see how much we care for him and he doesnt know how to recieve and reciprocate that love. it really hurts. imagine in a year the amount of sentence u can talk with your mother is less than 100. dont u even feel a little bit of shame? don u noe how much u have hurt her? u are always tinking about urself. u have to learn that this freaking world don revolve only around u and ur frens. there is such a word called family. do u even noe wad a family means? i dont tink u noe. she had so much hope in u that u can go into a uni and when u dint, did she scold u? no she din. she found alternative routes for u. and did u cherish her effort? did u cherish what she did for u? no u din. u never ever did.. from the day u were born till now... all these 22 yrs.. u tink abt it.. have u ever cherish wad anyone in this family did for u.. because of u, do u know how much quarrels there were.. because of u, do u noe how much i suffered? no u don.. because u only know how to tink about urself.. just because she doesnt allow u to dye ur hair u wanna make a fuss and claim that we dont care? if u want it so much. i will go and work and gif u that money to dye ur hair.. but will u even understand and appreciate that effort? if u do.. i will do that for u just cuz u are my brother..

i really hope u will stop making excuses and start taking responsibility in ur own life.. stop saying that u wan to lead a carefree life.. because ur life is already carefree as it is.. u don have to work, everything is given to u.. pls.. take some responsibility.. i am realli asking that small favour from u..

Friday, January 4, 2008 @ 6:19 PM

A new year..

hmm.. lets start from xmas.. din do much on xmas.. was lonely pretty much.. hahaha.. but it was a happy one.. because my dad actually took the initiative to cook dinner for the family.. though it was tasteless im still happi.. cuz it has been some time since my dad cooked.. hahaha.. recieved a msg from an ex.. pretty wierd cuz of the conversation we were having.. haha.. he owe me a zoo trip.. haha.. but i forgive him.. don wanan get ham tam ltr by his gf for going out with him.. not that good too.. though its lk only frens.. hahaha..

for the new year.. met ying for escape.. 7 bucks only.. cheap right.. but don envy.. hahaa.. cuz alot ppl were there and its lk seriously we had to wait about 1 hr per ride.. it was horrible.. the worst was the stupid haunted house.. thanks to me and my stupid idea.. haha.. i actually wanted to scared ying by going.. but when we went in i was scared as well.. so dumb rite.. i noe.. than its lk she closed her eyes for the whole time.. leaving me with no choice but to open my eyes and bravely walk throught the stupid maze.. haha.. after that i met up wit yi wei (sec sch fren) and my other sch frens (which consist of my 2 ex and another fren) hahaha.. funni right.. we din do much.. sat around and they do their thing and we do ours.. haha.. pretty boring.. but had a fun time with yi wei.. hahaha..

school has started.. not very pleased with my results but that's wad i get for not studying much.. haha.. have to deal with it.. haha.. i donno la.. i feel that me and one of my fren, the frenship is sorta tense.. maybe its cuz i found out the real her.. i donno.. i am not exactly happi when she says me because i feel that she has no right? i donno.. its lk.. in terms of what she said.. she is worst off then me.. so i felt sorta hurt when she keeps saying that.. its not only her but them.. i know sometimes its a joke but it does hurt cuz i know im not like that.. i might say it for fun but i feel im diff from her.. but somehow they just seem to grp me n her together and make me worst.. haha.. and today i do feel bad for saying that she is worst off then me but that is the fact.. its cuz we are frens thats y i understand wad u feel.. but all im trying to do is help u suppress it so that others (guys) who are better will not be put off by that.. maybe that caused a misunderstanding.. honestly, im happy for u, im not jealous.. its just i know you are capable of finding a better one... not just any tom, dick or harry.. ya

just came back from shopping with lisa.. had fun.. haha.. bought alot of things.. 4 shirt n a sweater.. total of $39.. hahaha.. not bad hor.. hahaha.. while going home we saw amin and him fren.. he say his fren is his bro.. i wanna see some evidence.. hahahaha.. but his fren looks nt bad.. haha.. if that is realli his bro.. all i can say is.. amin u all look diff.. hahahaa.. no offence ah.. :)

A new year means the start of something new....

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Sunday, January 6, 2008 @ 7:27 PM excuses as u all can see from the title.. i am actually having trouble understanding that word 'excuses'.. yes its a type of phrase when u use when u are trying to deny something.. but to what extend can it be considered an excuse? blame and excuse are actually interlinked in my opinion.. usually when there is an excuse, blame will come in and take over.. i bet all of u have experience this before. what happened today is that my bro he lost some stuff. i felt both angry and disappointed in my bro. angry because i felt he has no right to throw his temper around just because those are impt stuff.. if it is that impt than u shd have taken care of it. but did u. think abt it urself.. its like.. honestly speaking what have u done for this family that u can lift ur head proudly and say,'i did that.' i dont think anything. if u want to say about the moving house thing. how much have u actually done? how much have u move. u ownself tink abt how old ur dad is.. how much strenght does he have. i dont want to mention about me being a gal and how much strenght i have. because that wun matter to u.. u only know how to make fun about me about my strenght but have u ever thought about where that came from? it came from u being a failure as a man.. u say that ur gf is the one u love and want to protect. but think about it.. how can u protect her and ur future family when u cant even protect ur own family. the one that brought u up, gave u food n clothes n shelter, the ones that gave in to u when u throw a tantrum.. can u still proudly say that u have that ability to protect the one u love? i don tink so. i know i sound very harsh.. but u are my bro.. no matter how much i quarrel with u, no matter how much i say u are useless... i hope and wish that one day u can come right infront of my face n tell me, "i am not useless. i have changed." i am disappointed in him because whenever i see how much we care for him and he doesnt know how to recieve and reciprocate that love. it really hurts. imagine in a year the amount of sentence u can talk with your mother is less than 100. dont u even feel a little bit of shame? don u noe how much u have hurt her? u are always tinking about urself. u have to learn that this freaking world don revolve only around u and ur frens. there is such a word called family. do u even noe wad a family means? i dont tink u noe. she had so much hope in u that u can go into a uni and when u dint, did she scold u? no she din. she found alternative routes for u. and did u cherish her effort? did u cherish what she did for u? no u din. u never ever did.. from the day u were born till now... all these 22 yrs.. u tink abt it.. have u ever cherish wad anyone in this family did for u.. because of u, do u know how much quarrels there were.. because of u, do u noe how much i suffered? no u don.. because u only know how to tink about urself.. just because she doesnt allow u to dye ur hair u wanna make a fuss and claim that we dont care? if u want it so much. i will go and work and gif u that money to dye ur hair.. but will u even understand and appreciate that effort? if u do.. i will do that for u just cuz u are my brother.. i really hope u will stop making excuses and start taking responsibility in ur own life.. stop saying that u wan to lead a carefree life.. because ur life is already carefree as it is.. u don have to work, everything is given to u.. pls.. take some responsibility.. i am realli asking that small favour from u.. back to top?
Friday, January 4, 2008 @ 6:19 PM A new year.. hmm.. lets start from xmas.. din do much on xmas.. was lonely pretty much.. hahaha.. but it was a happy one.. because my dad actually took the initiative to cook dinner for the family.. though it was tasteless im still happi.. cuz it has been some time since my dad cooked.. hahaha.. recieved a msg from an ex.. pretty wierd cuz of the conversation we were having.. haha.. he owe me a zoo trip.. haha.. but i forgive him.. don wanan get ham tam ltr by his gf for going out with him.. not that good too.. though its lk only frens.. hahaha.. for the new year.. met ying for escape.. 7 bucks only.. cheap right.. but don envy.. hahaa.. cuz alot ppl were there and its lk seriously we had to wait about 1 hr per ride.. it was horrible.. the worst was the stupid haunted house.. thanks to me and my stupid idea.. haha.. i actually wanted to scared ying by going.. but when we went in i was scared as well.. so dumb rite.. i noe.. than its lk she closed her eyes for the whole time.. leaving me with no choice but to open my eyes and bravely walk throught the stupid maze.. haha.. after that i met up wit yi wei (sec sch fren) and my other sch frens (which consist of my 2 ex and another fren) hahaha.. funni right.. we din do much.. sat around and they do their thing and we do ours.. haha.. pretty boring.. but had a fun time with yi wei.. hahaha.. school has started.. not very pleased with my results but that's wad i get for not studying much.. haha.. have to deal with it.. haha.. i donno la.. i feel that me and one of my fren, the frenship is sorta tense.. maybe its cuz i found out the real her.. i donno.. i am not exactly happi when she says me because i feel that she has no right? i donno.. its lk.. in terms of what she said.. she is worst off then me.. so i felt sorta hurt when she keeps saying that.. its not only her but them.. i know sometimes its a joke but it does hurt cuz i know im not like that.. i might say it for fun but i feel im diff from her.. but somehow they just seem to grp me n her together and make me worst.. haha.. and today i do feel bad for saying that she is worst off then me but that is the fact.. its cuz we are frens thats y i understand wad u feel.. but all im trying to do is help u suppress it so that others (guys) who are better will not be put off by that.. maybe that caused a misunderstanding.. honestly, im happy for u, im not jealous.. its just i know you are capable of finding a better one... not just any tom, dick or harry.. ya just came back from shopping with lisa.. had fun.. haha.. bought alot of things.. 4 shirt n a sweater.. total of $39.. hahaha.. not bad hor.. hahaha.. while going home we saw amin and him fren.. he say his fren is his bro.. i wanna see some evidence.. hahahaha.. but his fren looks nt bad.. haha.. if that is realli his bro.. all i can say is.. amin u all look diff.. hahahaa.. no offence ah.. :) A new year means the start of something new.... back to top?