i'm just a simple girl living in this not so simple world. Nothing much to say about me except i love my life, every single day of it. `Life's like a rollercoaster :) *pictures derived from deviantart and sayingimages

din do much today.. was still pissed this morning over what an ass told me yst.. honestly, what right did he have to say things in the manner that he did.. as if i fooled around with him purposely.. honestly, it was one of the most horrible rs i have ever been in.. until now i ask myself what made me be with u for so freaking long.. i really dont know which nerve in my brain was fried to make me be with you for so freaking long.. i should have dumped you in the beginning when u lied to me about your past.. i should have also slapped you when you were msging your ex on the sly behind my back and flirting with those juniors when i quitted school.. so many times i could have just slapped you and leave but i donno y i stayed.. its the most stupid thing i have done in my whole entire life besides agreeing to be with you.. and all those bull you said.. like.. i trust u so i ask u.. omg.. seriously can someone teach him what the hell is trust.. the ppl in ur family have no freaking trust so is tt how u treat me? and when i said ok i will try to get along with ur family.. honestly i hated them u know.. the way the look down on my family.. the sacarsim that u din get.. the fakeness that greeted me when i met them.. the boastfulness of ur whole family urkes me.. its digusting.. n u.. are the most disgusting thing i have ever met..

ok enough of that shit.. what he said did make me think if that is how i appeared to others.. have you all been in a rs where u told urself that you never loved anyone this way before and when you are in the next you say the same thing? it does sound abit shitty i have to agree.. but i realised that you can love different people in different manner.. that is why now i can say i am not in the wrong to say, "i never love anyone like this before." yst when my ex said to me.. r u sure u are in love this time? i thought you said you are those flirty type.. i agree i said that before to him at that time when our rs was on the rocks.. i din know what make me phrase it that way but now i know.. im not flirty and the reason y i said that was because i wanted to hint to him that i wanted a breakup.. its not that im bored about him.. ok maybe a little.. but its the stress i get when we are together.. arent rs supposed to be happy and carefree? i understand that there is no perfect love in reality but im confident to say that love should not make a person feel stressed and pressured..

after that i thought to myself what exactly is love.. i know this is something alot people ask themselves until it has become such a boring topic.. but i dont understand.. how do you know if you are in love with someone or if you are in love with the feeling of being loved.. both are so different in so many ways but why do people usually mixed them up and say its the same? i have heard people who say, "i love you so you have to do this do that" that aint love.. thats bullshit.. love is a choice.. love is something you can choose yourself without any worries that you have done wrong.. its hard to know whether you are in love when love itself is something so hard to comprehend.. it twirls people's feelings as easy as making a cotton candy.. it always make people who are sure in the beginning unsure in the end.. love is really such a complicated matter.. back to top?

currently fell in love with the click five songs.. haha.. i realise that one of their song really describe what i am feeling right now.. its called, "all i need is you".. today went to the dentist but din get my braces done yet.. have to wait till nov.. so damn long la.. its realli killing me.. haha.. today did the x ray n stuff.. the mould sucks man.. its lk.. the mould will harden and when he tried to take it out from my mouth it felt lk all my teeth would just drop with it.. ahhaha.. im serious.. its freaky.. hope i dont have to extract any teeth.. cuz tt will hurt damn lot.. haha..

pass him his stuff today.. haha.. gd that he like the specs.. if nt i will whack him upside down sia.. find until super hard lor.. haha.. but the shirt abit disappointing la.. too small.. wahaha.. its lk the largest size there n yet its too small for him.. bo bian.. giant ppl cant fit into normal clothes.. wahaha.. :X

today my parents went to KL.. damn sian sia.. than its lk.. literally rot at home.. nothing to do and all.. really bored.. have to repack the boxes soon.. so should be a lil busy i tink.. haha.. suddenly really miss thai food.. miss the fatty pork and the green tea ice cream.. miss alot of things.. miss the thai massage.. hahaha.. oh well.. x time than can go.. when i start earning money.. which is lk 3-4 yrs from now.. wahaha.. plan to go to venice for the 1st trip.. hope i can go there b4 it sinks.. really wanna see how venice looks like and see whether it is really the city of light.. hope its real beautiful...

ALL I NEED IS YOU..
You're scared, it shows
Been there, you're not prepared to be
In love with me
So soon cause you've been through enough to have
Something hold you back

(Chorus)
We don't need to go that far
Let's hold on to where we are
If it's real we'll make it through
Cause all I need is you

They say don't waste your time
They're obviously blind
So let's forget the words
The thoughts they put into your head
Don't give up just yet

(chorus)
We don't need the world right now
We've got time to work it out
Hold on tight, I'll hold on too
Cause all I need is..

Baby, maybe we should start somewhere
(Gotta start somewhere)
Baby, let me in your heart
Before it falls apart

(chorus)
We don't need the world right now
We've got time to work it out
Hold on tight, I'll hold on too
Cause all I need is you back to top?

today is another boring day in my life.. 3 wks of hols and i have no idea what to do.. my mum should be home in a few hours.. miss her alot also.. its been lk 3-4 mths since i last saw her.. hahah.. sad life sia.. had dinner wit my uncle, grandma n cousins.. ate chicken rice.. think im gg to have phobia of chicken rice soon sia.. haha.. been listening to music the whole entire day.. esp my current fav.. the click five.. i have no idea y i suddenly like their music so much.. haha..

hmm.. been thinking alot lately.. i know i shouldnt have but i guess that's my nature.. cant be blamed.. i msged him this morning at lk 1 or 2 am lk tt.. a damn long one too.. but he onli replied me this morning.. abit disappointed i guess cuz lk there was no ans no nothing.. now i dont even know what im doing.. on one hand im saying ok it aint possible.. but on the other hand i wan it to be possible.. i wanna fall in love with the one who attracted me.. but i know that i shouldnt.. i know that i should be more reserved about it.. he aint ready.. so even if i pour out my whole soul to him its pointless.. cuz he just aint ready to fall in love wit me.. so im probably stuck in the middle again.. as the saying goes, " let nature run its course." honestly i hate this saying cuz i think its a load of bull.. i guess i believe that ur fate is in your own hands.. should i take that fate n bring it to my own hands or should i just let it run.. i donno..

reading my past entry about maturity.. i am still pissed actually.. i guess im pissed with the fact that my dad feels that once u are 21, u are mature.. honestly i don believe in that bull.. i mean look at it.. u have people who are older than 21 and have no idea where their life is leading them.. living their life so aimlessly.. is that mature? i don think so.. maturity cant be judged i guess.. lk those parents who dump their kids at the orphange.. to some they arent mature cuz they don have the responsibilty to face the reality.. but to others they might be matured cuz they know that they don have the capability so they rather their kids live a happy life without them... so i guess maturity is based on perception..

Note: today is mooncake festival.. look at the moon and u will see a rabbit's shadow in the moon.. try it.. :D back to top?

came back from bangkok few days ago.. it was damn fun.. bought alot of t-shirts and stuff for my frens.. bangkok was great.. the shopping and the food n not to forget the massage.. it was fabulous.. haha.. and cheap too.. what else can i ask for.. haha. went to the YMCA.. the kids there are sooooo damn adorable.. just love them to bits n pieces man.. felt quite sad for them as 7 kids are infected with HIV.. i feel that in this case their parents are responsible. i mean its like u wanna have fun and all but when u are down with a kid u dont wanna care for him? what logic is that. it totally doesnt make any sense. seriously if u wanna have fun in bed make sure u have enough responsiblity to face the future and not just dump ur kids in an orphanage.. after that trip i realise that i really do have to treasure what i have infront of me.. looking at those kids, no parents to love them, just friends and foster parents to dote on them, its sad.. especially when we got on the bus and seeing them chase after the bus behind the gates really wanna bring tears to my eyes.. if i can or have the ability in the future i will do whatever i can to help these kids..

hai.. what is mature actually? my dad's opinion of mature is the ability to buy house, car, etc.. like when u reach 21 u are mature.. honestly i think thats total bull.. sometimes i think to myself.. am i matured?? i like someone who is younger, that aint matured right? but i donno, does love consist of maturity?? i guess a portion of it does.. recently i fell in love with my best friend.. i have known him for 6 years.. honestly, i am afraid.. i am afraid of losing him in the end although we both know that no matter what happens we will be there for one another.. i guess u can call me immature too.. cuz despite the fact that he rejected me i still went for it the 2nd time.. although the 2nd time he din reject me.. its confusing.. its somewhere in the middle.. its hard to be in the middle when there is no assurance or sign to tell me that im doing the right thing.. i dont even know if i should be hanging on.. its impossible.. although he has some feel for me, i think.. but its just that our height are worlds apart.. ok.. thats a stupid reason to be afraid but i mean like.. wun tall guys like tall gals?? and age is another matter.. im older than him.. okok.. im old-fashion i agree.. its quite taboo?? i donno.. its lk.. even my dad says im conning little kids.. he said until lk i cant do any better than finding a kid as my bf lk tt.. wtf sia.. seriously lor.. the last thing im afraid is that.. he hasnt realli tell me verbally that he likes me.. and also he is always so good with girls u noe.. of cuz i will be afraid.. duh right.. ya.. i donno.. maybe in this life friends is all we can ever be.. lets just leave it up to fate to tell me the outcome ba.. back to top?