Cold Nostalgia

Thursday, May 6, 2010 @ 6:53 PM

how would you ever know the person who loves you the most is the one standing right infront of you?

i guess i dont but i know that love is not my cup of tea. dont like the way i love a person, the way that i care for a person. it just seems so wrong. the care that i give is just a burden to the other party. if that is the case, should i stop loving?

talked to him today about what i feel, i know that i am irritating him more these days and the my mood and emotions are getting unstable by the day. i know. but what can i do?

after today i realise that sometimes talking doesnt help. that talking is just going round in circles until both parties agree on a specific point. that talking is just a waste of time. what is the point in talking when there is no ending? where there is no change/result? what is the point in thinking so much when there is no point. when the facts are laid in alphabetic orders right before your eyes and yet all you want to do is overlook everything. if that is the case why bother looking at the facts in the first place.

why cant i get a grip on myself? why cant i stop putting burden on other people? why cant i just grow up? by being matured in love, does it mean that both of you dont have to always talk as long as both of you know that you love each other. is that enough? but how do you know when in the beginning you all dont even talk. suddenly dont see the point in love or life. dont see why people, namely me, have to over think about everything.

what happened to being happy with the person who you loves is the only thing that matters? is that even realiable, that thought of just being happy. by just being happy and that nothing else matters is a immature thing. cuz it doesnt exist. love compromises of alot of things and not just happiness. and that day will come when you realise there is no more happiness in your love life, what happens next? what will be the next thing that you can hold on to? memories? what if you have alziemers and forget everything? feelings? feeling fades with time..

so what is it that makes you want to hold on to that ONE relationship?