i'm just a simple girl living in this not so simple world. Nothing much to say about me except i love my life, every single day of it. `Life's like a rollercoaster :) *pictures derived from deviantart and sayingimages

the time now is 0223 hours.. i have been trying to sleep for the past 4 hours or rather the past few days after you have been gone but i cant.. i tried sleeping early.. tried staring at my wall, tried counting sheeps, tried everything possible which can help me just shut my eyes and stop thinking about you.. but it all doesnt work..

just stop it already.. just stop running around in my mind.. stop telling me to think with my heart and not my brain.. i tried and this is how it ends up to be.. its killing me.. this mental countdown every single day is killing me.. waiting for the clock to strike 10pm, waiting for you name to pop up on msn.. and when it doesnt.. i will just psyche myself telling myself that you are busy.. that you are tired.. giving all type of damn excuses that i can find in my brain to forgive you not turning up as expected..

i cant do this everyday.. expecting thing will work out the things they will.. its not possible.. there is just too much in a relationship and too much in love which doesnt make sense.. i cant just sit here and wait for you to come back every single time.. what if one day you dont come back? what am i to do then? what can i do then? i dont want to wait for that day to come when i realise i have fallen too deep for you... cuz from what i know now.. i already have..

i have been turning round in bed for the past 4 hours waiting for my phone to ring.. waiting for your name to appear yet again.. i dare not fall asleep.. im afraid that if i do i'll miss the chance to talk to you.. cuz i know if i miss that chance.. i dont know when i might have it again.. your schedule change faster then the direction of the winds.. your words seems so sincere yet so foreign.. the things you say.. the promises that you have made.. just seem to be hanging on a thread.. a thread that i hold on to as if my life depended on it..

i just cant continue this anymore.. i cant just sit there waiting for you to waltz in and pretend that nothing has happened.. i just cant control my feelings anymore.. please just spare me.. please just get out of my mind.. just stop appearing in it and just leave me alone..

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